What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
