wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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