Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
