he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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