If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
