Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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