She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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