the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
