she woke up with a sticky ear
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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