Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
