So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
