Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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