We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize