I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
