I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
