he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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