Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
