The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
