Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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