Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
