Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sober January is a disaster.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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