just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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