I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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