just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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