I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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