In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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