booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
