She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
