please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
