Umm I'm too high to move.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
