I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
