Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
