I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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