If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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