I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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