If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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