butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
