There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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