It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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