Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
