the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
