does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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