i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
