How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
