he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
