Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
