I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
