Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
