i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
