let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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