love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
